sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize