that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
