i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
