In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
