P.S. I can't hear my feet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He did a backflip because drugs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
