I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
