At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
