They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
