Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
