life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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