just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
