Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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