how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Vodka?
Forever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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