My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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