I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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