i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
