I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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