if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
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you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?