Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance