just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?