I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.