Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
