First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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