I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
