dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
