I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok