so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..