I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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