I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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