stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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