Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
