I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you will always have a special place in my vag
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
