I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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