i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
