No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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