What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
