Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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