I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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