He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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