okay pat passed out under dana's car
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
