In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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