Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
