i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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