Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's shark week go big or go home
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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