your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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