i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
