and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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