I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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