don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
