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i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
