He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
