it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize