scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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