I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
