My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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