thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
