Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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