i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
