I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
