I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
