No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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