Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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