I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
