I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
only if we run a train.
done.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
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Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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